SM | Reconciliation over Retaliation

One of my favorite Instagrams to get updates from is Fierce Marriage. Their account is absolutely lovely. Each post is filled with thoughtful messages to remind you of God's love for us and the people we love.

This post from about three weeks ago reminds us to choose reconciliation over retaliation in love.

 

I think this post really hit me hard today. They explain "false love is self serving. When conflict arises, false love will seek to retaliate or to escape--to be vindicated, or to preserve self-satisfaction above all else. Retaliation may seem like a first reaction to hurt, but at its' core, it's rooted in viewing your spouse as an opponent to be fought instead of a heart to be won." 

Of course, right now, I don't have a spouse but I am in a relationship that's about 5 years now. Today I think I really felt that core of viewing him as an opponent rather than a heart to be won. I've just been so tired and have recently kept feeling like I'm doing so much work for the relationship. So once he does or says just a few things that trigger me, I just get so drained and do things (such as go home earlier) even though I know he'd rather I stay and spend more time with him. 

It's hard trying to constantly push through this conflict that's inside me, and of course I've attempted to discuss it, but I think my emotions get so built up in moments (both good and bad emotions) and it just never is fully reconciled. I push the problem off to the side once there's a good reason that makes me feel alright again, but the problems keep coming back so it must not be fully reconciled/dealt with. I keep thinking time will solve it, tomorrow will be better, but that's not the way to think. 

Reading their post now on Fierce Marriage, maybe it's possible that it's because the reconciliation does not include Christ. Actually, now when I think about it, that is exactly why. I've prayed about it, but I've never really asked for peace within myself. To help me choose reconciliation over retaliation. Relationships are hard, at least that's what I think- for me anyways lol. I need to focus more on quicker reconciliation in order to keep the relationship positive and uplifting, instead of negative and draining. I pray and hope that we can pursue each other with more Christ-like love..."the kind of love that fuels reconciliation and allows your relationship to outlast every conflict." 

Never forget to love yourself ♡

Reading | Perseverance for your calling

Today I began reading 2 Peter as the first book of the Bible I'm beginning this year, and it seemed to be the perfect beginning. I've always felt like I'm lacking in praying..and reading.. and spiritually everything. This year I really want to be accountable and own my faith, so I've begun a spiritual tracker. On this tracker so far, I have Read, Pray, Write, Proverbs (for my Hmong learning). And it sure is already doing it's job. Today, it reminded me to pray before I began reading and just like that, God has a way of speaking to you as you mouth the words and listen to them in your head.

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, goodliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if any of you do not have them, you are short-sighted and blind, and you have forgotten that you have been cleansed from your past sins." 2 Peter 1: 5-9

I have been feeling this type of way, and here is the answer staring right at me. Where has my effort gone to? Am I short-sighted, am I blind? Most days I do feel unproductive and ineffective. I feel that there is not enough time in a day, and there are many things I'd rather do by I'm not. I need to remember to add these into my every day efforts so that I do not stumble:
- goodness
- knowledge
- self-control
- perseverance
- godliness
- mutual affection
- love

"Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble." 2 Peter 1:10

Simon Peter makes it clearly known that the foundation of our faith in Jesus Christ as our God and Savior who is able to give us grace and peace in abundance. There is always the possibility of stumbling away from your foundation though, especially when there is no effort put into finding what your role is at any place you are whether it be church, work, school, etc. You need to put effort and thought into the things you do, or it will just be forgotten.


Let him always remind you even though you may be firmly established in the truth that you have. Let the Bible talk to you with each word printed on its' pages. Keep the word refreshed in your mind and heart, for we are only human.

Accountability | My 2017 Spiritual Resolutions

My theme for 2017 is going to be Regain. To me, this word means to regain control of my life with God as the anchor. He will steer me in the way I'm suppose to go, and in that I hope to regain control of the space around me and my time. I want to regain who I am and was once again, and clear my conscience before God and all people so I can be the real me. Sometimes I feel as if that's lost elsewhere. So by the end of 2017, I would hope to have regained at least some control of where I'm headed. 

(Acts 24:16)

Some of my more measurable goals are: 

1. Read at least 5 more books in the Bible. In 2016, I really lacked in reading my Bible often and taking quiet times. I plan to be more proactive in studying the words of God. 

2. Take on another leadership role at Church in order to grow stronger bonds with others (right now I'm just teaching prek - kindergarteners Sunday school class) 

3. Pray without ceasing. I want to pray more. I want to make it a habit to talk to God daily to strengthen our relationship and also pray over others. "What blood is to the body, prayer is to the soul." I feel like this is something I lack in and is maybe the reason to myself feeling weary. 

4. Declutter and go over my spiritual journey. I think to regain control of my life this year, I'd have to look at the now but I'd also have to look at what made me who I am now and brought me to where I'm at today. Decluttering and tidying up would help me clear my space and head, and also allow me to thoroughly and gently look over the past and analyze why I am who I am and maybe what God may have planned. < (this is definitely a run-on sentence - but I'm sleepy haha)

5. Memorize at least 5 bible verses.  I was looking through my previous blog posts, thinking I knew I had this down somewhere else. I then found that I had made my last Resolutions list in 2015, where I had written memorize at least 10 Bible verses! Unfortunately, I have failed to do so over the past two years. So this year, I'll start smaller at 5 verses. Let's go 2017! We got this 😊

P.S. Cynthia you need to write this down and put it some where you can constantly see. And you need to make a game plan on how you are going to carry out all of your goals! Believe in yourself, and that God will be right along side you. 

Sermon | God is the judge

No matter what, we are sinners so it will be hypocritical of us to judge others since we too are sinners. To be a fair judge, you would have to be one with no record.

"You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things." - Romans 2:1 

Naturally we are sinners and self-seeking.  God left us to our own free-will and so life is all about the choices we choose. We should seek only for God's glory and works to honor and praise Him. For the end of seeking will then be joy! Jesus is our new bondage.

Think about the sins in your life, and how you can arrange it so that you are more-seeking in God for His glory. The Gospel is the sole essential truth; seek it. Sin separates us, Jesus forgives us as long as we admit and see our sins first. We are sinners, and God is the judge. 

God chooses as He will. We don't get to say who does or does not have a place in heaven, or who is or is not fit to be God's messenger. As in most of the bible stories, God chooses the weak, little, and broken because they are the ones who will be proud to hold a name for Him instead of a name for himself or herself. Your own belief does not save you, only the power of God can save you. 

Like electricity, we are provided the switch but it's up to us if we want to turn that switch on to fuel the electricity to become a light of the world. So open up your book, and move into what God has willed you to become for His glory. No one is the judge, except for Him with no sins. 

Faith and Grace are like two sides of one penny, they always comes together. When you have faith, God grants you His grace. And when you are given grace, you will live by faith. God, the fair judge, gives you the choice to choose Him. 

Have a blessed week! 

-CSV

Reading | Paul knows

"I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth noting to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." Acts 20: 23-24

Paul confesses that he doesn't know everything that will happen to him, but he know the main thing. Some days I feel like I'm the opposite, I know the little things that will happen here and there, but I don't know what God is trying to mainly tell me. What task has the Lord Jesus given me? In which way can I testify to the good news of God's grace? Though I hate to admit it, I'm so scared of the world and I can't get out of being "of the world". I hope to see and find soon my own purpose. Maybe I'll never know though, but maybe that's how God is planning it to be. 

Let thy will be done, and give us the knowledge you want us to have. 

We are meant to be wherever we are at. 

[I'm reading Acts right now, and to keep me more accountable I've decided to start blogging verses that stand out to me in my readings. I've been taking almost all year in Acts and have only gotten to chapter 20. I pray that this encourages me to study the bible more frequently and rebuild a stronger relationship with God. ]

Reading | God's Acceptance

God accepts all. I love this reminder; it reminds us that no one is more or less than anyone else. We can all be pure in the eyes of God. I’m reading the book of Acts, and today I was studying Acts chapter 10. The story of Cornelius and Peter. Peter goes into a trance and a voice tells him to “Get up, Peter. Kill and eat” (v. 13) four-footed animals and reptiles and birds. In Peter’s eyes this is impure. But the voice replies to him, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” God makes this clear when he later brings Jews and Gentile together in the chapter. He shows them that they are all accepted to have the Holy Spirit go upon them, and they’re all able to be baptized in His name. This shows Peter that he doesn’t have the authority to call others unclean. Anyone one at all who believes in Jesus and accepts him will be accepted themselves and receive forgiveness of sin through the glorious name of Jesus.

The power is in the Lord. He guides us on what to say and how to be in our own unique way. If God only accepted one type of being, what kind of world would this be. He accepts everyone and wants everyone to more greatly find themselves through finding Him. With God, we have the ability to love who we are, what we can do, and love those around us. “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism” (v.34). As long as we are God-fearing and do what is right, we are favored in the eyes of the Lord.

We are, of course, only human ourselves. We have no authority to judge those who are our equals. God sees us, and accepts us. 

Everything is in His timing.

Thy will be done. 

-CSV.

URBANA 2k15 | Following Jesus is Demanding

Patrick Fung started out the sermon with a quote, "His enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness." I loved that Patrick Fung started with this quote from Kung Fu Panda, and I loved how he presented it. In a way he reminded me of Po's bird dad from the movie; so wise, but also kind-of silly. Like Po, we are often consumed by our dreams and follow a "master" to pursue our dreams. Jesus was like a "master", he attracted people and crowds because of the authority he showed. Like following any master, following Jesus is demanding, radical, risky, and costly.

In Matthew, Jesus was called the Son of Man in three contexts: Jesus' future glory (Mat. 24:30), Jesus' ministry and power on earth (Mat. 9:5), and the suffering of Jesus' death (Mat. 12:40). There on the cross as the Son of Man laid down his head, He rested in the will of the Father the day he died for all of our sins. Jesus suffered in glory and humiliation. In following Jesus, we are asked to let go of our security in the world." Our ultimate security and rest is found in obeying the Father as Jesus did even in suffering." Never give up on what God is telling you, following is demanding but it can be done if you keep the will.

Jesus' words are very simple and profound. He went to Peter saying, "Come, Follow me", and he left Peter saying, "You must follow me." Jesus asks us to surrender all of our control to Him and simply follow him. Patrick Fung gave a very relative example for me with his "very-Chinese" father. When he had gone to do his mission trip in Pakistan, his father claimed in front of their relatives that he will now have one son less and he wouldn't be his father from that day on. Four years later when he was back visiting home from his mission trip, his father took him to a very nice restaurant famous for roast duck. Though the dinner atmosphere was solemn, at the end of the dinner his dad said, "Son you must finish everything on your plate. I bet there is no roast duck in Pakistan." In a very Chinese way his father was telling him that he loves and cares for him even though he may not completely like what his son is doing. This is very true for many asian families; I could relate so much with this and I see other families that would too. I think with the right mindset, we would understand our parents more and hear what they are saying behind possibly harsh words. Patrick's father became a Christian 20 years later. This story is so beautiful. God is so compassionate.

Understanding what it means to follow Jesus is a journey. Our business is with life not death, and with our life we can choose to follow Jesus. In Matthew 8:23-16, Jesus sends his disciple into a storm, saves his disciples from the storm, and leads his disciples through the storm but he never lets them completely avoid the storm. Jesus is the Lord for the storms that we may go through. Mental storms are far worse than physical storms. Some might reject Jesus, but we can not ignore Him. He is everywhere, and if we want to follow Him we have to stand up for our trust and love for Him.

"Jesus promises his disciples three things--that they will be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble." - G.K. Chesterton

Following Jesus is: 
1. Demanding - Our ultimate security is in the will of God.
2. Radical - The claims of the kingdom is absolute and immediate.
3. Risky - He leads us into the storm, saves us from the storm, and never lets us avoid the storm.
4. Costly - You have to follow him with all of your life.

"Are we willing to follow Jesus even into the storm?"

You can watch the morning service of Urbana for Monday, January 28, 2016 here!