SM | Reconciliation over Retaliation

One of my favorite Instagrams to get updates from is Fierce Marriage. Their account is absolutely lovely. Each post is filled with thoughtful messages to remind you of God's love for us and the people we love.

This post from about three weeks ago reminds us to choose reconciliation over retaliation in love.

 

I think this post really hit me hard today. They explain "false love is self serving. When conflict arises, false love will seek to retaliate or to escape--to be vindicated, or to preserve self-satisfaction above all else. Retaliation may seem like a first reaction to hurt, but at its' core, it's rooted in viewing your spouse as an opponent to be fought instead of a heart to be won." 

Of course, right now, I don't have a spouse but I am in a relationship that's about 5 years now. Today I think I really felt that core of viewing him as an opponent rather than a heart to be won. I've just been so tired and have recently kept feeling like I'm doing so much work for the relationship. So once he does or says just a few things that trigger me, I just get so drained and do things (such as go home earlier) even though I know he'd rather I stay and spend more time with him. 

It's hard trying to constantly push through this conflict that's inside me, and of course I've attempted to discuss it, but I think my emotions get so built up in moments (both good and bad emotions) and it just never is fully reconciled. I push the problem off to the side once there's a good reason that makes me feel alright again, but the problems keep coming back so it must not be fully reconciled/dealt with. I keep thinking time will solve it, tomorrow will be better, but that's not the way to think. 

Reading their post now on Fierce Marriage, maybe it's possible that it's because the reconciliation does not include Christ. Actually, now when I think about it, that is exactly why. I've prayed about it, but I've never really asked for peace within myself. To help me choose reconciliation over retaliation. Relationships are hard, at least that's what I think- for me anyways lol. I need to focus more on quicker reconciliation in order to keep the relationship positive and uplifting, instead of negative and draining. I pray and hope that we can pursue each other with more Christ-like love..."the kind of love that fuels reconciliation and allows your relationship to outlast every conflict." 

Never forget to love yourself ♡

Reading | Perseverance for your calling

Today I began reading 2 Peter as the first book of the Bible I'm beginning this year, and it seemed to be the perfect beginning. I've always felt like I'm lacking in praying..and reading.. and spiritually everything. This year I really want to be accountable and own my faith, so I've begun a spiritual tracker. On this tracker so far, I have Read, Pray, Write, Proverbs (for my Hmong learning). And it sure is already doing it's job. Today, it reminded me to pray before I began reading and just like that, God has a way of speaking to you as you mouth the words and listen to them in your head.

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self control, perseverance; and to perseverance, goodliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if any of you do not have them, you are short-sighted and blind, and you have forgotten that you have been cleansed from your past sins." 2 Peter 1: 5-9

I have been feeling this type of way, and here is the answer staring right at me. Where has my effort gone to? Am I short-sighted, am I blind? Most days I do feel unproductive and ineffective. I feel that there is not enough time in a day, and there are many things I'd rather do by I'm not. I need to remember to add these into my every day efforts so that I do not stumble:
- goodness
- knowledge
- self-control
- perseverance
- godliness
- mutual affection
- love

"Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble." 2 Peter 1:10

Simon Peter makes it clearly known that the foundation of our faith in Jesus Christ as our God and Savior who is able to give us grace and peace in abundance. There is always the possibility of stumbling away from your foundation though, especially when there is no effort put into finding what your role is at any place you are whether it be church, work, school, etc. You need to put effort and thought into the things you do, or it will just be forgotten.


Let him always remind you even though you may be firmly established in the truth that you have. Let the Bible talk to you with each word printed on its' pages. Keep the word refreshed in your mind and heart, for we are only human.

Accountability | My 2017 Spiritual Resolutions

My theme for 2017 is going to be Regain. To me, this word means to regain control of my life with God as the anchor. He will steer me in the way I'm suppose to go, and in that I hope to regain control of the space around me and my time. I want to regain who I am and was once again, and clear my conscience before God and all people so I can be the real me. Sometimes I feel as if that's lost elsewhere. So by the end of 2017, I would hope to have regained at least some control of where I'm headed. 

(Acts 24:16)

Some of my more measurable goals are: 

1. Read at least 5 more books in the Bible. In 2016, I really lacked in reading my Bible often and taking quiet times. I plan to be more proactive in studying the words of God. 

2. Take on another leadership role at Church in order to grow stronger bonds with others (right now I'm just teaching prek - kindergarteners Sunday school class) 

3. Pray without ceasing. I want to pray more. I want to make it a habit to talk to God daily to strengthen our relationship and also pray over others. "What blood is to the body, prayer is to the soul." I feel like this is something I lack in and is maybe the reason to myself feeling weary. 

4. Declutter and go over my spiritual journey. I think to regain control of my life this year, I'd have to look at the now but I'd also have to look at what made me who I am now and brought me to where I'm at today. Decluttering and tidying up would help me clear my space and head, and also allow me to thoroughly and gently look over the past and analyze why I am who I am and maybe what God may have planned. < (this is definitely a run-on sentence - but I'm sleepy haha)

5. Memorize at least 5 bible verses.  I was looking through my previous blog posts, thinking I knew I had this down somewhere else. I then found that I had made my last Resolutions list in 2015, where I had written memorize at least 10 Bible verses! Unfortunately, I have failed to do so over the past two years. So this year, I'll start smaller at 5 verses. Let's go 2017! We got this 😊

P.S. Cynthia you need to write this down and put it some where you can constantly see. And you need to make a game plan on how you are going to carry out all of your goals! Believe in yourself, and that God will be right along side you.