SM | Reconciliation over Retaliation

One of my favorite Instagrams to get updates from is Fierce Marriage. Their account is absolutely lovely. Each post is filled with thoughtful messages to remind you of God's love for us and the people we love.

This post from about three weeks ago reminds us to choose reconciliation over retaliation in love.

 

I think this post really hit me hard today. They explain "false love is self serving. When conflict arises, false love will seek to retaliate or to escape--to be vindicated, or to preserve self-satisfaction above all else. Retaliation may seem like a first reaction to hurt, but at its' core, it's rooted in viewing your spouse as an opponent to be fought instead of a heart to be won." 

Of course, right now, I don't have a spouse but I am in a relationship that's about 5 years now. Today I think I really felt that core of viewing him as an opponent rather than a heart to be won. I've just been so tired and have recently kept feeling like I'm doing so much work for the relationship. So once he does or says just a few things that trigger me, I just get so drained and do things (such as go home earlier) even though I know he'd rather I stay and spend more time with him. 

It's hard trying to constantly push through this conflict that's inside me, and of course I've attempted to discuss it, but I think my emotions get so built up in moments (both good and bad emotions) and it just never is fully reconciled. I push the problem off to the side once there's a good reason that makes me feel alright again, but the problems keep coming back so it must not be fully reconciled/dealt with. I keep thinking time will solve it, tomorrow will be better, but that's not the way to think. 

Reading their post now on Fierce Marriage, maybe it's possible that it's because the reconciliation does not include Christ. Actually, now when I think about it, that is exactly why. I've prayed about it, but I've never really asked for peace within myself. To help me choose reconciliation over retaliation. Relationships are hard, at least that's what I think- for me anyways lol. I need to focus more on quicker reconciliation in order to keep the relationship positive and uplifting, instead of negative and draining. I pray and hope that we can pursue each other with more Christ-like love..."the kind of love that fuels reconciliation and allows your relationship to outlast every conflict." 

Never forget to love yourself ♡